You’re not invincible

The tornado was strong. The curious bystanders watched from a distance. They were not afraid of the tornado, quite the opposite. They knew who had created it, why they created it. They cheered her on as she came to the precipice of the battle. The tornado stopped as suddenly as it had started. The three men fell from the air, to the ground, stunned and unconscious. Ultra levitated in the air with a satisfied grin with her hands proudly on her hip. The wind carried the small pieces of debris towards the east, trying to take Ultra’s cape with it.

They all applauded Ultra, as the jumped up in excitement. She’d done it again, she had saved the small city from peril. Her three strongest foes united to terrorize the city, but soon found they were still no match for their greatest adversary, Ultra. She was not only strong, but beautiful. Her kindness was one of her super powers that won all of America over. She waved at the cheering fans, grateful for their lives. She began to slowly levitate further into the air and in a instant, she was gone.

It was easy slipping in through the balcony window of her home. With her super speed, it was hard for anyone to really notice her. She was careful not to come in too fast, or she’d have to explain to her landlord, again, how ironic it was for a baseball to have reached all the way to the 30th floor and shatter her glass. Ultra’s feet had softly landed on her balcony. She quickly closed the balcony glass doors and pulled the shade before taking off her mask. She did a quick spin and upon stopping, was suddenly in her pajamas. She crept silently to the kitchen, careful not to awake anyone. Just as she was about to open the fridge, the lights to the kitchen turned on.

“Well there you are,” Tony began. He had a small twig he had snapped from a plant, scratching the inside of his cast. His hair had been slicked back as if he was on his way to a business meeting. “I’m confused how this works with you Diane. You have super hearing and if someone cries out to you for help you go running off.”

“Tony, I…”

“Shut the hell up!” Tony yelled, cutting her off. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath, trying to calm down, then he continued. “I was speaking. You can hear everyone else calling for you, but when I yell for you, Ultra is never there.” Tony glared at her with anger. He tried to hide it with a smile, as if he was speaking casually, but Ultra knew better. She knew the type of man her husband was. She sighed and turned towards the fridge, quickly deciding to take out the cheese.

“Babe, I’m sorry. Do you mind if we talk about this some other time?” Ultra asked.

“Do you love me Diane?” Tony asked

“Yea babe, with all my heart!” Ultra declared, turning around suddenly to face her distraught husband.

“So at least be a woman and face me. Tell me why! Why are you there for the world and not there for me?” Tony asked snapping the thin twig in half with his good hand.

“Honey… I …I don’t know what to say. I try my hardest to please you. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you, I love you,” Ultra cried out.

“Yeah, well what about this, huh!?” Tony asked, slightly raising his broken arm. “I called to you. I called to you and you weren’t there. You can be anywhere in seconds, but you weren’t there for me!” Ultra lowered her head in shame. She honestly didn’t even remember hearing her husband call to her. She went over it many times in her head, how she could have missed her husbands cry for help.

“Come to think of it,” Tony began. “The only time you aren’t able to respond to a cry for help is when you’re having sex.” Tony declared as if he was having an epiphany.

“Tony that’s just…”

“You bitch!” Tony declared.

“Excuse me?” Ultra asked, hurt that he would even come to such a wild conclusion.

“You stink slut! Who is it? Who are you screwing!?”

“NOBODY!!” Ultra yelled out, almost in tears. Tony slowly approached her, his eyes full of anger. A tear rolled from his eye, but he wasn’t hurt, just angry. Ultra slowly backed up, hitting the fridge. She watched as her husband silently approached her. He smiled as he was inches away from her. He quickly reached for her jaw, as he began to clench tightly.

“You’re a little whore and you’re going to tell me who you are screwing!” He whispered loudly.

“Baby please, stop! You’re hurting me!” Ultra cried out

“You’re lying. I could never hurt you physically. No no, if I wanted to hurt you, Diane, I wouldn’t do it with my hands,” Tony said. He released her jaw and took a step back. With all his strength he reached high and slapped Ultra with the back of his hand. Her face turned to the left, but she had not moved her body. She continued to cry.

“Did that hurt?” Tony asked. Ultra did not speak. She clenched the plate of cheese, trying hard not to tremble. Her eyes had still been filled with tears. Her bottom lip trembled, however it wasn’t from fear, but from restraint. Everything in her wanted to react, but she couldn’t. Not only was it the man she loved, but a mere mortal. She could never lay a hand on him. She stared into his eyes, trying to figure out the problem. The solution had not been in his words, but his eyes. She wondered what story his eyes spoke of. All she could see was pure hate, all she could remember was love. What changed?

Tony had not been himself these past few months. Three years of happy marriage, or so she convinced herself. She began to think back on the times they came to this point in their relationship. What was it that sparked these rare moments of anger and hate. And were they really rare moments, or did she just prefer to over look the things any normal person would call “Signs”. Maybe she did ignore them in the past, but She was different. She was Ultra now. The strongest woman on earth. There has not been a foe she’s met, that has gotten the best of her. Not until she met Tony.

“Did that one hurt!?” Tony asked, now on his fifth slap. He swung hard for a sixth, but was stopped by her superior strength. Her grip had startled Tony a bit. He tried to pull away but her arm did not budge.

“You are hurting me here!” She declared, pointing to her heart with her now free hand. The cheese had fallen to the floor, mixed in with the broken glass. No one paid attention to the mess.

“You’re going to break my other arm?” Tony asked.

“No, just this. I’m ending this Tony. It’s over!” Ultra yelled. She released his hand and slid down the frifge to the floor. Her toes scrapping the sharp glass from the broken plate. She began to cry, holding her hands to her face. “It’s over,” she whispered.

No, No… No this isnt over. You’re just saying that.”

“It’s over Tony, I cant do this anymore,” Ultra declared.

“You’re not leaving me bitch!” Tony declared. “You think you can leave me? everyone will know your little secret. I wonder how your enemies will take it. Your little sister, your mom, your brother, your friends… What will you do when everyone know who you are? I’ll tell them everything there is to know about you. Your family will be in so much danger. The media has you convinced that you are some kind of immortal, but i know you better than the media, than the world, than your enemies. I know your secret and your secret is, You’re not invincible. You have a big family, you cant protect them all.” Tony pleaded aloud. It all happened so quick, but Tiny found himself pinned to the wall, arm to his neck. Ultra leaned in close with her eyes beaming red, ready to fire her burning lasers at any moment.

“Don’t you ever threaten them!” She said, red eyes full of tears.

“I can’t believe this,” Tony said with fear. “Dr. Lobotomy killed 34 people last month and the most you did to him was knock him out. I make one little statement and you’re ready to kill me. Me, Tony, your husband,” Tony softly stated, as if he was about to cry.

“Tony… I…”

“You never Loved me. you tricked me. This was all just a big trick. You never loved me!” Tony declared, guilting Ultra into releasing her grip. He fell to the floor, exaggerating the pain to his neck.

“I’ve always loved you!” Ultra cried out. her eyes began to dim back to a dark brown.

“You were just about to kill me! I cant believe it…”

“Babe… I love you,” Ultra said as she tried to hug him. He pushed away, as if he had been afraid.

“Just like you said, It’s over.” Ultra said nothing. She remained on the floor looking up at her husband in confusion. She had not responded to his threat to leave her… Her lack of response had not been appreciated.

“You think just because you are Ultra that you can save everyone. Well what about our marriage? Are you going to save that too or are you going to fight for me, for us?”  Tony asked.

“Tony, I don’t know what to say”

“Get up Diane,” Tony commanded. Ultra rose to her feet, quickly wiping away her tears. He stared at her, saying nothing. It was his eyes that said it all. He saw regret in her eyes, but in his eyes she sought for forgiveness. “I love you. You know that, right?”

“Yes,” She said, trying to smile.

“I hate getting like this, but you have to do better.”

“I’ll do better Tony, I promise!” Ultra declared, happy to have come to the end of the argument.

“You better,” Tony said with a smile. He pulled her close and kissed her. She closed her eyes as he wiped away a tear that escaped her eye. She smiled back and kissed him again. “I forgive you. Come on, lets go to bed.” Ultra could hear the cries of someone in the distance. She glanced at the window as she walked to the bedroom with her husband. She chose to ignore the cries of agony, to fulfill the role of an abused wife. Ultra was the strongest woman around, but what she didn’t know was, she was married to her greatest Foe.

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Advent Peace

“I didn’t have the chance to say goodbye. The force of the impact grabbed her face first, through the windshield. She disappeared almost immediately through the trucks grill. My seat belt almost snapped, that’s how strong the impact was. I was drunk, she was drunk, the truck driver was drunk, but i’m the only one that’s not dead. Sometimes… sometimes I regret not joining them. I mean, I was part to the blame,” Danillo said, wiping away his tears.

“There’s a reason you’re alive, Danillo.” Danillo looked up at his sponsor. He smiled at Danillo gently, reassuringly.

“Yeah, but at what cost? I have to live with the guilt of killing my wife everyday. Everyday I look to the left side of my bed hoping she is going to be there and…” Danillo lowered his head in shame.

“I’ve told you about Olina, haven’t I?” asked the sponsor. Everyone looked at each other, each judgmental eye verifying they had indeed known the story the sponsor was referring to. The sponsor looked down at the floor, trying to collect his thoughts. The story of Olina had been a sensitive subject.

“She was just 7 years old. And for ten whole years I’ve lived with the guilt of taking that little girls life. I remember the impact, I remember the scream, I remember the family’s cries. I found out the little girl had cancer. She was dying and I thought that little piece of information would make me feel better, but it didn’t. In order for me to be a better person, I had to forgive myself. I had to move on. I’m not saying its going to take ten years, Danillo, but it’s going to take you forgiving yourself. I’ve helped so many people, saved so many lives. My justice, your justice… It shouldn’t be to live in guilt, but our judgement should be a permanent obligation. Preventing people like you and me from becoming the monsters we think we are,” the sponsor said with a smile and a hand on Danillo’s shoulder. The circle began to clap, moved by the words of their sponsor. Danillo shook the sponsors hand and smiled happy to have been encouraged.

“So…does that make you innocent, sponsor?” someone in the circle asked. He had not joined in on the clapping. He was not moved by the words of his sponsor, as he sat there, staring at the ground. The sponsor turned to the member in curiosity.

“No one here is innocent. But we can’t live our lives in guilt,” the sponsor stated softly.

“Olivia,” The man replied just as softly.

“Excuse me?” asked the sponsor.

“The girl you murdered… The one with the cancer, her name was Olivia. You called her Olina.” the man looked up at the sponsor, eye to eye. There had been an even longer moment of silence. The circle of alcoholics eyes traveled back and forth between the sponsor and the strange man. The sponsor had not recognized the strange man. Their circle had increased by one new member, finally bringing himself into existence to the group.

“Olivia?” the sponsor had finally broken from his trance as he tried to think back to the little girl. He was sure her name was Olina.

“Yes, Olivia. Since you can’t even get her name right, I’m guessing you hadn’t realized that little girl had just beaten her cancer. They received the good news the very night you killed her. She skipped ahead of her parents that night after their celebration dinner, thanking God for life. Your car mowed her over, while she was skipping on the side walk. You saw a cat and tried to save the cat’s life and took Olivia’s. I believe the cat story you told the judge bought you three less years in jail,” The man declared.

“Who are you?” the sponsor asked.

“Me? My name is Timothy. I’m the guy with the gun at the hearing six years ago, Olivia was my daughter.” Silence broke through the room again, but it was loud. The silence became deafening almost making their ears pop. The two men stared each other in the eye, each reliving their own memory. The sponsor had a bad feeling, a gut feeling that something really bad was going to happen. He couldn’t quite come to terms of accepting it, he couldn’t quite explain it and he most certainly didn’t have an idea of how to stop it, but his gut feeling grew stronger the longer he stared the man in the face.

“So what now?” the sponsor asked already knowing the answer. Timothy pulled out a gun from his messenger bag. The circle all gasped in fear as they moved their chairs back.  The sponsor remained still. He smiled at his fate, he could see “the end” at the back of the gun barrel.

“Now I do what I was suppose to do in the courtroom six years ago,” said Timothy in a calm tone. His hand remained steady, it had not trembled or shook. There was a cold and dark vendetta in his eyes, hate in his heart, death in his hands.

“Timothy, please don’t do this,” the sponsor cried out in fear. It had come upon him suddenly, fear. It gripped his heart and began to tug.

“For a long time I hated you. I dedicated myself to ruining your life, but I couldn’t bring myself to approach you. I was going to leave you alone. I had finally gotten over my anger, until I found out you were sponsoring a group of killers, encouraging them to move on past their notorious misdeeds that have ruined and taken the lives of others. You try to  help these misfits, these alcoholics to move on past their guilt, but it’s their guilt that prevents them from killing again. You think you deserve to find peace? What about me? What about Danillo’s mother in law, you think she found peace? No, Danillo’s mother in law hates him, tried to poison his pie one day. Isn’t that right Danillo?” Timothy asked, turning to the frightened alcoholic.

It was true, his mother in law had tried to kill him. She blamed Danillo for her daughters death. She never approved of Danillo marrying her only daughter, her best friend, her baby. She always told her that Danillo was going to run her right into the ground. She never imagined he would literally do it.

“You failed to realize It’s the guilt that connects them with their victims,” Timothy continued. ” You… you try to help them be better human beings; live peaceful lives; try to help them sleep at night; give them appreciation for sitting at the dinner table with their families, while we… the hurt fathers; the angry mothers; the lonely siblings; the grieving widows eat alone in our corners, because there is no such thing as a family dinner anymore. Because you have take it from us. Who are you to be at peace while we remain in turmoil?”

The circle remained silent. One of the female recovering alcoholics began to panic. Tears and fear loitered her face as she gripped her seat, prepared to run. The sponsor held his hand out, blocking his face. He wanted to plead with Timothy, he wanted to say the right words to convince him to leave peacefully, but there was a certain resolve Timothy had that was visible to the sponsor and those around him. His gut feeling began to scream, letting the sponsor know he had been right. The sponsor knew Timothy wasn’t  going to let him leave the circle and there had been no words to change this.

“You want peace? You don’t have the right to find peace, until I give it to you,” Timthoy declared. He raised the gun to the sponsors head and pulled the trigger. The circle jumped up in tears as the sponsor fell off the chair, to his knees and then to the floor, face down. Blood spilled to Timothy’s feet. The crowd ran past Timothy in fear, crying and yelling as they fought to exist the room.

Timothy stared at the lifeless body. He smiled as he became captivated by peace. For a moment his mind slipped into a deep trance, glorifying the end of his vengeance. For so long, he contemplated the sponsors self-mandated retribution.He never thought he could feel this liberated from his pain. The blood continued to spread as the crowd desperately tried to open the door, but it wouldn’t budge. The group continued to scream, suddenly releasing Timothy from his trance.

“The door is locked from the outside,” Timothy declared, turning around and scratching his scalp with his gun. The crowd silently turned around to face him. Each developed a similar gut feeling the sponsor had developed, a feeling of inevitability. No one spoke a word, each fearful of their own disturbingly advent ends.

“I’m here to give you all the peace you came here looking for,” Timothy said with a small grin.

Strong Enough

There wasn’t anyway to describe the sunset. Beautiful? Majestic? Amazing? I had not really appreciated it’s grace. I close my eyes as the wind welcomes the approaching night. My arms raise in acceptance. Fate welcomes me, as I step onto the ledge. My open shirt flaps in the wind. The wind was strong.

But not strong enough.

The wind tries to push me off the ledge, but not in the direction in which I want it to. The wind is against me today, trying to save my life. I thought it would have made it easy for me. I was hoping it would do the favor of finishing the task. I had done most of the work anyway. I dragged myself to the roof. I try to step off the ledge, but fear allies itself with the wind as it desperately prevents me from moving. I thought I was stronger than this.

Evidently, not strong enough.

My eyes remain close while I try to develop my resolve. I think of why I’m here. It all begins to hit me, I begin to remember. Fear slowly loosens his grip. He shakes his head at me, disappointed at his failed attempt to stop me. His judgmental eyes pierce my soul. I look back at him. My soul wants to cry, but my body has already done that for me.

I wonder if it’s true what they say about suicide. Is there really no forgiveness for taking your own life? If I was to jump, would my soul continue to fall past the pavement until I breached the gates of hell? I shook the thought from my mind and smiled at fears last tactic to stop me. He was good, he was strong…

But not strong enough.

I don’t have to step off the ledge, all I have to do is lean forqard a little and let gravity do the rest. There’d be no time for second guessing, no time to rethink things. I was still waiting for the wind to push me off the ledge, but he had not given up. The wind was relentless. Relentless, but weak. I begin to lean forward.

“Sean!” I hear someone scream out. I immediately turn around. There she was. Yunity, the love of my life. She held her arms, trying to warm herself from the cold wind.

“Yunity, what are you doing here?” I ask her. She pulls her hair behind her ear. There is no smile on her face. I look for disappointment, I look for pity, but there is no expression on her face. It was always hard to read her.

“I got your letter,” Yunity yelled over the weak wind. “I knew you would be here.”

“It’ too late to play hero, Yunity. You can’t stop me, I’ve already made up my mind,” I say to her. She looks to the left avoiding my gaze. Something in my eyes must have reminded her of an emotion she had not wanted to surface. I hear sirens in the distance. No doubt someone spotted me on the roof and called the police.

“Sean,” Yunity begins. “I didn’t come to stop you.” My eyes blink several times before I actually comprehend what she has just said. Although, I have no right to be surprised. What was I to expect? I look at her and like a boomerang, I throw her a smile. But it does not return to me.  She continues to stare at him. “I read your letter and I ran over here, because I want to tell you something,” Yunity stated.

“I hope you burn in hell,” she said. She took one last glance and began to walk away. I continue to smile, but I don’t know why. There is nothing to smile about really. I wasn’t aware of the tears that flowed from my eyes. I had hurt her, I knew that. There was no reversing my mistakes and I couldn’t live with them anymore. I cant live with the guilt, the pain.

“Yunity!” I cry out. I don’t want her to leave, not without me telling her “I love you.” She turns around and shakes her head. She says nothing. I can tell she wants to, but she doesn’t. She slowly opens the door to the roof and without looking back she disappears into the dark staircase.

She wanted me dead. She looked me in the eyes and showed no emotion to my attempt at suicide. Was she really that angry? I slowly come to my senses. I knew what I wanted to happen. I had stalled long enough, convincing myself that I was actually going to jump. I have no intention on jumping off this ledge. I thought she would save me, I thought she would say something to convince me not to jump. But she encouraged my death.

I step off the ledge, back onto the roof. I look at the crowd that has loitered the streets below. All eyes were on me, waiting to make my move. Some kids had drawn a big target mark on the ground with red chalk. They were looking for a show, but this show wasn’t intended for them. I run to the staircase, hoping to catch Yunity before she exits the building. I open the door, only to see her there.

“I knew you weren’t a coward,” She says to me. She throws me a smile. Finally my boomerang returns to me.  can still see the hurt in  her eyes. I can feel the heat of her anger. She still hated me. I began to understand, although I was dead to her, she didnot want me to die. I’m not a coward, I am strong and we can work through these issues. Question is…

Am I strong enough

 

 

 

 

Void Returns

“You may have heard from her in your local newsletter. Or probably on one of her youtube videos that have stolen the hearts of many aspiring musicians, countless fans and most of america’s eligible bachelors,” The host declared. The audience laughed. The crew listening in the back chuckled to themselves. Sarah, however, had not had the pleasure of hearing the amazing pleasantries, as she stared at her boyfriend, horrified by his words. Her eyes quivered in pain and her lips trembled with hurt.

“Why are you doing this to me now, Nathan?” Sarah asked. Natahan tried to search the floor for the answers. He did not want to look Sarah in her eyes. He had been pained almost as much as she had and he really had not thought about timing. He just thought he owed it to her to know.

“I’m telling you now, Sarah, because after you walk out on that stage, you will never see or hear from me again. I’m going with her to Sydney Australia.” Nathan released her hand and took a step back. “I do not love you anymore Sarah. It’s not you, it’s me. It’s just your career has given me time to notice… we have nothing in common anymore. We both want two different things,” Nathan declared.

“You’re right,” Sarah began, fighting her tears. “Because I want you and you do not want me,” She declared. Nathan eyes darted back to the floor again, trying to mask his emotion. “Seriously Nathan? Her? Right now?”

“Sarah…”

“No you tell me what it is she has that I don’t,” Sarah declared. She grabbed his hands. “These hands, these soft hands and fingers… they’re mines. The thousands of times you have held me in them. This arm, your shoulder, they are my arm and shoulder. The thousands of times I have cried on them. These lips… These pink lips that you love me with, these are my lips. The thousands of times you have eased my anxiety with just a kiss,” Sarah declared touching his hands, arms, shoulder and lips. A tear left Nathans eyes.

“Those tears, those are my tears,” Sarah began. Her eyes began to water as well. She gently wiped the tear from Nathans eye with her thumb. “Those are my tears. You always use them for my jokes. And this… this heart you say you have, the one I’ve listened to, countless times at night just to fall asleep. That heart belongs to me! That’s my heart! I always thought I was the musician, but your heart has this kind of symphony that eases me, consoles me, assures me, loves me,” Sarah declared. ‘What am I to  do without it?” A tear rolled from her face.

“Is my heart not yours? I gave it to you. Are you going to shatter it? Are you going to stomp on my heart Nathan?”

“Your career has your heart Sarah,” Nathan declared.

“You have my heart Nathan!” Sarah declared aloud. She pounded on his chest, trying to get him to understand her pain. But her light pounds had not reached his heart.

“Than prove it,” Nathan declared. “Walk away with me, right now!” the words had seemed to echo. Sarah’s tears had ceased almost immediately. Confusion filled her eyes as she tried to find meaning and purpose to Nathans proposal.

“Nathan… I… There are 72,000 people out there!” Sarah declared. Sarah eyes widened with shock. She could not believe he had given her such an ultimatum.

“And without further Ado, I now present to you, Sarah Windchester!” The announcer declared. It was too late to cancel. Sarah stared at Nathan in disbelief. Nathan stared at her back. He placed his hand out for her to take.

“Come Sarah,” Nathan declared. “If these are your hands, as you say, reach out and claim them and we will walk away together.” The crowd roared at the name of Sarah.

“Sarah?” The announcer called over the microphone. The backstage crew desperately signaled for her to enter the arena, but she ignored their queries. She loved Nathan, but she was afraid, conflicted. She feared she would lose her love to the one other love of her life, music. Sarah lowered her head and began to walk towards the arena.

“You see Sarah,” Nathan began. Sarah turned around, tear in her eye, knowing it was as he said, she would never see him again. “You don’t need my heart. You already have theirs,” Nathan declared pointing towards the audience behind the curtain. They continued to cheer her name as they awaited her presence.

“Nathan, I love you, there’s no doubt about that. I love you through your flaws, I love you through your failures. I even loved you when you loved another, way before you loved me. But my love has returned to me void. I love my music, my career, my fans. If your love can’t follow me past my flaws; if your love isn’t strong enough to wait for me; if your love cant love me, while I love another; than truly… your love was not meant for me.” Sarah wiped her tear and turned around. She placed a fake smile on her face as she walked out on the stage. The fans cheered and screamed. The Arena shook with energy.

Nathan phone began to buzz. He knew what the message was about… It was a message from her, his other “lover”. Nathan closed his eyes as he listened to Sarah’s harmonies lifting the crowd. She was beautiful, Nathan had forgotten how beautiful she was. He felt ashamed and hurt that he had given her such an ultimatum. He did love her, but he wondered if love was enough.

“Where are you? Our plane leaves in half,” The text declared. Nathan smiled. He knew what this feeling was. It was not new, very unfamiliar, but he knew what it was.

“You’re going to have to go without me,” Nathan texted  back.

Guilt’s Prison

“I remember… You… I remember  I loved you. I remember you,” I said. She smiled down at me. Tears began to escape her eyes, happy to have been let free. They ran from her eyes to her pink lips, thirsty for freedom. She forced a smile, her top lip quivering from the pain.

“Do you remember me?” My mother declared. Yeah I knew who she was, but she wasn’t the one trying to leave me. She wasn’t the one trying to break my heart. Mom would survive a few weeks of me pretending not to remember her, but I’m not too sure my relationship with Emily will. Mom stared at me with anxiousness. She leaned her head to the left, happy to know I had remembered anything at all. I tried to look deep into her eyes, trying to act as if i had seen a stranger.

She looked to my brother in despair. My silence had said enough. She thought I hadn’t remembered her, she thought I had forgotten. It was easy not to smile, with the pain emitting from my jaw and all. I looked back at Emily. She felt uncomfortable as she glanced at my mother from the corner of her eyes. She had not wanted to be the only person I remembered. It would have sufficed her for me to not have remembered her at all. I was the one who messed up after all.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” I asked my mother. My mother lightly broke down as she plunged into the arms of my younger brother.

“Oh God, he doesn’t remember his own mother,” Mom cried. She picked her head up in confusion. She quickly turned to the Doctor.  “How is this possible? How can he remember her, but not me?” She asked the Doctor.

“It’s not uncommon for him to have a selective memory. It seems to me that his memory has not returned at all. He remembered he loved her, which is an emotion. Those run deeper than memories itself. That must have been a strong love he had for you,” The doctor declared turning to Emily. Emily forced another fake smile. “You should hold on to love that strong.”

“But he loves me too!” Mom declared. I felt kinda bad for her. Maybe as the years pass, I’ll let her in on what happened.But tonight, I had to get Emily back. She glanced out the window, as she continued to hold my hand. I could tell she was pained by my touch. My loss of memory had not cured her hate, it had not consoled her broken heart.

The other girl meant nothing. She meant nothing to me and that’s what I continued to her. Emily Had stared at me that night. She had not been shocked. As if she had known what was behind the bedroom door. She knew she would find me in bed with another woman. She did not shed a tear, she just walked away. I was drunk, the other girl was drunk. Emily sped off in her car and I chased her. Although I do remember Emily and what I did to her, I don’t remember the crash.

Looking at Emily made me sad. I knew she would not… could not look at me the same again. Am I wrong for deceiving her?

“Yes!” her eyes answered back, as she stared into my eyes. Her stare brought so much guilt into my heart. Emily was a good person, a good girl. She loved me with everything she had in her. I loved her just as much, I swear! Impulse is a bitch. She would have me cheat on the woman I love. It was just a bad mixture of liquor and attraction, nothing more. i do not love this other woman. I do not want to be with her, I want Emily… I want Emily…

I want Emily…

To be happy… And staring into her eyes, made me realize, she was not happy. She’s a good girl, she doesn’t deserve the torture. I could make us stay together, I could make her  hold my hand and stand by side. I could make her kiss my lips, I could probably even make her marry me. But I could not make her love me… So I guess… I guess if I really, truly love Emily. If she is the love of my life, I should let her go. I have a shot to make her happy.

A tear rolls down my cheek at the thought of letting her go. A tear she would never shed. She looks at me with curiousness, wondering what I was thinking. She pitied me, but she did not love me. Being the person she is, she would stay with me in pity and not out of love. I squeeze her hand, hoping to feel the warmth she would always give me. I cant look away from her eyes, her beautiful eyes. Hopefully these eyes will return to me, seeking me out. Another tear rolls down my eye as I let her hand go.

“Mom?” I ask. Mother quickly picks her head up, anxious for acknowledgement. She smiles and places a hand on my cheek.

“Yes Adam, Mom is here. Do you remember me?” Mom ask. I could tell her heart was racing a mile a minute as she anxiously awaited my reply.

“Mom, how can I forget you? Of course I remember you!” I say to her. She places her hand on her heart as she begins to cry.

“Oh, my baby! Mommy is gonna take really good care of you. Don’t you worry about a thing,” She says as she smothers me with her chest. I push away with a smile. I am happy to have relieved her of her fear. I smile at my brother who rubs my hair. Mom swats his hand away and tries to fix my hair.

“Mom,” I complain, trying to push her hands away. I glance at Emily. She stares back with her forced smile. I see that she is happy for my mother, but still does not want to be in the same room as me. Her hurt reaches my heart.

“Glad you’re doing better Adam,” She finally says. I look at her and then my mother, then back at her.

“Thank you, um…” I say as if trying to remember her name. She looks at me with shock. She is dazed in her thoughts. She desperately tries to dispel her deep thought, but is immediately drawn back in as questions form in her head. Then something wierd happened. Something I hadn’t expected to see.

A smile appears on her face.

She sighs in relief and even though she tries to hide her smile, it is to wide to contain. I have done it. My last selfless act. I want to tell her I love her and I hope she lives her life happy. She is still speechless at this point.

“Her name is Emily honey. Do you remember her?” My mother ask looking back and forth between the two of us. I stare into Emily’s eyes. Her smile looked as if it’s presence had waited for my reply to decide whether it would stay or leave.

“No, I’m sorry but I don’t,” I say. “But she’s beautiful.” Emily’s smile turns into an even wider grin. Her cheeks blush as she moves the hair from her eye that decided to swing.

“But honey. You just said you knew who she was,” My mother pleaded. She looked to the doctor for an answer.

“Oh, um… well this is normal. It’s called…”
“Oh everything is normal to you doctors!” My mother declares cutting the doctor off. Emily continues to smile as she places her hand on my hand.

“Get well soon Adam. I really hope you feel better,” She declared. She Squeezed my hand and released it. She turned to leave, but my mother stood in her way.

“That’s it? You’re leaving? His memory is skipping. You being here could trigger something else,” My mother declares. She looks at me again and then at my mother.

“That’s what i’m afraid of. I really have to go. Sorry Mrs. Coldeen. Good luck and Adam… I mean it, get well,” She declared. And just like that she was gone. She hadn’t looked back. I had freed her from the prison of hate, guilt and misery she was willing to commit to.

“Well, I guess she’s not one of those , for better or worse, girls after-all. You dodged a bullet there, Adam,” My mom declared, rubbing my forehead. She sat there and began to talk, but I had not heard. I zoned out. I could not help but think to myself.

I’d take a bullet for Emily.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love’s Funeral

The clouds were beginning to get thicker. Faith knew a storm was coming. The sand beneath her feet scurried to the east, subject to the strength of the wind. The union of dark clouds warned of danger. Faith stood frozen on the beach, still wondering if her friend had really been gone. Love was her friend, their leader. Faith’s existence had only been possible through Love. Although, Love was always able to distort her vision and blind Faith. Faith had never felt stronger when Love was around. Now, She couldn’t help but feel defeated, as if her existence was weakening.

“Faith,” a voice called out. Faith was immediately dispelled from her trance. The ocean had seemed deeper, wilder, a little more dangerous. The waves called out to her, roaring while pulling her gaze. The water darkened, reflecting the troubling skies above. The beach seemed to disappear more and more as the tides grew, gaining power from the strength of the wind.

“Faith,” the voice called out once more. Faith turned around, holding onto her dark scarf. She looked up to the church, knowing she would have to face her friend. Joy smiled as she approached Faith. “Faith, what are you doing? It’s getting dangerous out here and you’re important to us all. Come inside the church, the service is about to start,” Joy declared with a smile. Her voice had given  Faith a little peace. Joy had that affect on everyone. She had a way of spreading her contagious smile. Faith smiled as she picked up her shoes and began to walk to the church. She looked back one last time at the troubling waters and then entered the church.

The church had been dark. Everyone congregated in the pews, whispering among themselves. They had all looked up to Love. Some of them cried, while others comforted those beside them. But there were those who smiled. There were those who waited for Love to fail, to die, so that they may rise in her place. They had not been fans of Love and everyone knew it. But Love was the one who kept these negative individuals away. She was the one who encouraged all of the others to believe, to love with everything they had. Faith had remembered all of which Love had taught her.

The storm thundered and roared outside. The doors shook with great force, as the wind attempted to attend the sermon. No one paid mind to the wind and his perilous threats. Many rose from their seats to view the body. There were many who wept on their way to their seats. Others had small personal conversations with Love’s corpse. Probably I told you so’s.

Depression serenaded the sanctuary with her dark and lonely music. Her voice reached the bottom of everyone souls, grabbing their strength. Each individually reliving the failures they contributed to the pain. Depression lifted her eyes to the ceiling, searching past the concrete and the mortar of the building, glancing to the sky’s as she tried to see Love. But there was no one gracefully looking down upon her, smiling. Depression had been lost for so long. As she sung her dark worship, she remembered the first time she met Love. Love had told her everything was going to be okay, that she was going to make everything better. For a while she had accomplished such things. But now she was gone and the tears depression fought so hard to hold back, flowed from her heart like the rain that drummed on the roof.

“You’re not going to view the body?” Trust whispered to Faith. Faith had not responded. She knew Trust had been partially responsible for Loves death. She had not wanted to associate herself with him, but her grief had not let her keep her grudge.

“Faith, are you going to…”

“I heard you the first time,” Faith snapped. She glanced in his eyes, searching for answers.

“I know what she meant to you. She meant everything to me,” Trust declared.

“Then where were you?” Faith whispered angrily.

“Excuse me?” Trust asked, surprised at her sudden anger.

“Where were you when She needed you. She’s in that casket, because you were missing. You had the ability to save Love, but you were not there. Where were you?” Faith asked sternly. Trust looked at the floor and then at his broken arm. A tear slipped from his eyes. It seemed he didn’t have the words to put together for her to understand.

“I… tried Faith… I mean, I got hurt too. It’s hard for me to stand once I have been broken. I would have been there, but… but I guess… I was…”

“Save it,” Faith declared. “In the absence of Trust, Love cannot prevail. That’s your code, it’s what you live by and you failed. Any excuses you have, leave them in your will, because I don’t want to hear anything from you,” Faith sternly whispered. She immediately rose from her seat and stood in the aisle. Trust looked up at her in shame. He too felt responsible for Love’s death. Faith walked the aisle towards Loves Casket. Whispers continued, but she knew the whispers were about her.

“What is she doing here? There is no room for her here, now that Love is gone,” Envy whispered softly to Respect.

“If only she was stronger,” Faith heard Patience whisper to the person next to her. Faith had finally reached the casket. She glanced at Depression as she continued to sing. She looked back at Love, waiting for her to wake. Faith grabbed her hand and placed it close to her heart.

“Do you feel that Love? There’s no pulse. My heart has stopped beating. Do you hear that Love? Depression has been inspired to sing again. She’s a horrible singer,” Faith said as she smiled. Loves forced smile had not encouraged Faith to continue smiling. “I’ll miss you dear friend,” Faith declared, placing Loves hand back into the casket.

The doors to the church Suddenly opened. It had startled the congregation, everyone turning around to see who had entered. The man slowly proceeded into the building. All eyes pasted to the stranger who had no been welcomed. They almost had not recognized him. They had never seen his face before, but everyone knew who he was. The way he made them feel made it clear to them who he was. He continued to walk down the aisle, non-reverent to the service that had taken place. He glared at Faith with a smile. He pointed his finger at her, silently shooting her with his fingered pistol.

“You are not welcomed here!” Joy declared jumping in front of him. She stopped immediately, it was as if she could not breath. The man stared at her with his cold blue eyes. Joy fell to the floor as she gasped for air. She felt weak, weaker than she had seconds ago. The man in front of her was stronger. Stronger than she had ever felt. Everyone knew, They prayed it wasn’t true, but they knew. He had been Love’s successor.

“How dare you come in here,” Faith declared as she ran to Joy. She quickly bent down to pick up Joy. Joy began to slowly breathe.

“How dare all of you!” The man declared. Everyone became silent. Depression stopped her song, as she attentively paid attention. “You who believed, you have been deceived. You who stand, shall fall. You who do nothing, shall vanish. And all who oppose, shall be stopped.” The man stepped closer to Faith and Joy. He looked them in the eye and then at all who watched him.

“I am Hate and I have come to dictate, to judge and cast away those who have no place here. I am strong, stronger than Love and I shall not die,” Hate declared.

 

“I was suppose to be Love’s Successor!” Pride declared standing up. Hate turned to the man and chuckled to himself.

 

“You? You who have wavered? You are weak and unstable. You can barely follow my voice and yet you plan to lead these people.” Hate laughed at Prides ignorance. “No, I shall lead you and you will follow,” Hate declared. Pride slowly nodded his head in agreement, recognizing his strength.

“I will follow you!” Fear declared.

“And so will I,” Trust declared. He looked at Faith with shame, as if to apologize. Hate slowly walked to Trust and stopped.

“I do not need you. You are but a hindrance to me. And with your death, I will become stronger,” Hate whispered. Trust eyes began to quiver. He looked up and found fear above him. Trust tried to run, but fear captivated him, pinned him down. Trust had been defeated.

“You say you have come to dictate? That you have come to judge and cast away? But You will not prevail!” Faith declared. Hate turned around to face his opposser. He knew Faith had been weak. He knew what propelled her, but he also knew that it had also been gone.

“You are strong, Faith. Even when you are weak. You will prove to be trouble and I cannot defeat you, as of yet. But I will, one day. I have come to make everyone stronger, this is the only way to live. I am Strong and you by my side, I can become invincible. I invite you to turn away from your oppositions, your strange and futile conquest to defeat me and join me by my side. I can make you stronger. Strength is what you desire, am I not right?” Hate declared. Faith stood up, still holding Joy’s hand. She stepped to the powerful man. He smiled at her bravery.

“Love was not always here. There was a prophecy once, that she would arrive and lead us. For years there had been those of us, who had risen up ourselves, falsely claiming that we were Love. We were foolish and naive. We were in over our heads, we didn’t know what we were doing. We thought one of us would rise to accept the responsibilities. And for years we failed. But then something happened. Love was born and we nurtured her. We not only empowered her, but we gave birth to her. Joy, Respect, Courage, Hope.” Faith turned around to turn around to a man she had lost respect for. “Even Trust,” She declared, looking at him.

“I never knew happiness, true strength, until I met Love. She ended up teaching me my own errors, pointed out my own flaws. I used to be Hope, but Love changed me, transformed me. Now I am stronger. I am Hope without seeing, seeing without believing. I am Faith and I know Love will return,” Faith declared. People in the pews began to stand, as they nodded their heads in agreement. Hate began to look around, afraid of the aura of encouragement.

“I have defeated my enemy Doubt, long ago and he has no place here any more. Love taught us that she exist when there are those who are willing to fight for her. Love exist when you are at peace with the man/woman in the mirror. Love exist when it is dark and you can still see the light. Love… Love exist when you are willing to Trust. But you, you only exist in the absence of Love,” Faith declared. Hate laughed, humored by Faith’s speech. He backed away from the aisle and slowly towards the door. He stared at Faith after composing himself.

“And what makes you think she’s coming back?” Hate asked, grin on his face.

“Because we have Faith,” Courage declared

“Because we have Faith,” Depression declared

“Because we have Faith,” Respect declared

“Because we have Faith,” Trust declared

“And I have Faith as well,” Love declared as she rose from her casket.

The congregation cheered, each more happy, than surprised. Tears escaped their eyes, happy the storm was finally subsiding. Faith looked upon Love from afar. Love stared back at her. Their eyes conversed, both locked to each other as the congregation continued to cheer. They held each other and jumped up and down. Faith looked back towards the door, but Hate had been gone. Faith smiled.

“Do you feel that Love?” Faith whispered, more to herself than aloud. “My pulse has returned.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Lagoon

 

I miss her…

For a long time I hated her. I thought she left me, abandoned me. I thought she abandoned her child. What woman… What mother abandons her child. She was strong, she was really strong. But in the end, she was weak. She didn’t even try to stay. She didn’t fight, why hadn’t she fought?

As I said…

For a long time, I was angry. I think I’m lying to myself when I use the word “was”, as if I’m still not angry. As if I have gotten over her. I’m still kind of angry, but not because she left. I guess… I guess I’m angry because, for so long I preoccupied myself with hate, with resentment, that I neglected my own daughter. she doesn’t deserve that. She deserved a father with Love. But her mother, she squeezed all the love I had out of me. She took my love when she left.

My daughter didn’t deserve that. She deserved a mother, is what she deserved! But seeing things more clearly now, what she really needed was a father. My only regret is that for the most part of her years, she hadn’t had one. I was bitter, really bitter.

The last time I saw her mother, I remembered her smile. I remembered her curly hair that sat gently on her shoulders. I remember Her beautiful green eyes. Her eyes reminded me of a lagoon we used to visit on the island of Bora Bora. The lagoon was amazing. One day we were on the shore of the lagoon. She smiled at me with her amazing grin. She had a way of sending chills down my back. She hadn’t said anything, but I just knew. It was the way she looked at me. The way she smiled, at that moment. It was as if she told me with her eyes that she wanted to be with me forever. She jumped up and ran to the lagoon. She looked back and blew me a kiss and then jumped in.

I jumped in after her. We both reached the bottom of the lagoon. She held my head down, trying to win our “who can hold their breath the longest” contest. My forehead softly hit the sand at the bottom of the lagoon. She swam up for air, but not me. My eyes had spotted something at the bottom of that lagoon. It was as if the universe was trying to tell me something. I reached out and dug my hand in the sand at the bottom of that lagoon. The object had been stuck and I was running out of air, but I did not care.

I tugged and pulled. I knew She had been worried. I knew she could see all my air bubbles escaping my mouth, traveling to the surface. I knew she was going to come down and pull me back up. I knew she was going to come back for me. I had to pull the object up before she pulled me up. My lungs felt like they were about to collapse, but I had not cared. I had done it. I had gotten the object from the sand and out from the tangled weeds. It was a huge diamond ring. Someone had lost it and it was here, at the moment she had mentally declared her love for me. The diamond had generated a great light. It was either that or I was seeing my own light. I clenched the ring in my hand. I began to black out. I felt myself pulled to the top.

I woke up on the shore of the lagoon. She stared at me with eyes of concern. I knew she was scared and I was too. What was this feeling, this over excitement? Why did I feel so powerful, so strong? As I pulled the string of hair that laid over her eyes behind her ear, I knew the answer to my question. It was her. She made me feel strong. She was my eternal energy source. She was the battery that kept me going and without her, I knew I would be nothing. I knew at that moment I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I sat up and opened my fist. She stared at the ring in my hand. She quickly placed her hands over her mouth in shock. Tears streamed from her eyes and before I could ask, she said

“I do.”

She promised to be there with me, through thick and thin. Through sickness and in health. But when the priest said till death do us part, we paused. Everyone thought it strange. They snickered and laughed as they thought we were having second thoughts, but they had not understood. Our love was strong, stronger than death. There was no death that would do us part. We omitted the “death do us part” oath and created a vow of our own. Our marriage would continue through death.

She promised me…

I was thinking, or maybe I just hadn’t wanted to see, but she had kept her promise.

When I saw her at the hospital, the last time I saw her while giving birth, the doctors told us we had two options. Push through with the delivery and I lose my wife, or save my wife and lose the child. Like the blind man I was, I chose my wife. I was a lost fool. How could I live without her? She had not smiled. She told me that her love would continue through our child. But I had not listened, I had not agreed. I could never love another, not even a child. Foolish me, foolish words. I only wish I could have take them back. She began to push. I began to hate her. She had made her choice without me. I had not held her hand, I had not coached her to push. I withdrew my support, the one thing I promised I would give, through sickness and in health.

She remained loyal till the end. With the most amazing glow, she smiled at me. I had not honored her through death. She left knowing I had not honored our vows. I hadn’t realized it then, but she remained faithful to our vows. She had left her love through our daughter. If only I had looked at my daughters eyes. If only I had seen those beautiful green eyes. I would have realized that my wife had remained with me and all I had to do was look at her beautiful eyes.

I was angry… but now,

now I am sad.

My daughter stands before me, by my side, watching me take my last breath. Her eyes saddened. The eyes her mother had, still has love for me. She watches me in pity as I am unable to respond. I should have spent more time with her. I should of held her more as a child. I should have appreciated her eyes, the eyes of the lagoon. I should have loved her, but hate occupied where loves once dwelt.

But my daughter, she had love for me. The passion she felt sent a chill down my spine, the same chill her mother once gave me. Around her neck was the ring from the lagoon. She kept it as a symbol of true love.  My daughter had not blamed me for loving her mother. She was understanding of my withdrawal from her, even though she shouldn’t have been. It’s not that i hadn’t loved my daughter or shown her love. But i hadn’t shown enough. I hadn’t really appreciated her. Her tears fell from her eyes and unto my cheek. It slowly ran from the corner of my eyes and down my face. Another tear from my own eye had followed it. I felt as I had when I was in the lagoon.

I felt like I was under water. My lungs began to collapse, I could feel them failing. I could see a bright light. I  knew darkness would come next. I turn to my daughter and her fiance. I reach out to speak, but no sound comes out. My daughter looks into my eyes and nods her head as if she could read my thoughts. Just as I had with my wife.

“I wont father, I wont ever give up on love. I will love through death,” She said

“I will love her through death,” Her fiance declared. I smiled as more tears released from my eyes. She had known what I wanted to say. Darkness surrounded my eyes. I could not see. I knew I would open my eyes soon and my wife would be waiting for me, at the lagoon.

Cassowary

The turtle tank had not been cleaned in a week and the odor was beginning to fill the room. Every once and a while, everyone would glance over at the turtle tank, praying someone would dispose of it. feeling their murderous gazes, the turtle hid behind the rock, careful not to make a sound. The windows had been closed, trapping the smell that fought, so desperately, to relieve the class of it’s lingering presence. The fan had not helped at all. It bounced the smell around from nose to nose, causing more and more students to look up from their test to glance at the turtle tank.

The smell, however, had not bothered Kelly. Or maybe, she just hadn’t noticed it. She clicked her pen as she stared into the the air, lost in thought. Her test half way completed, but this had not bothered her. She was pretty sure she wasn’t going to fail the test anyway. Her glasses slid to the tip of her nose, submitting to the force of gravity. Kelly used the tip of her pen to prop it back in place, full aware that she would have to repeat the process in probably the next three minutes.

“Five Minutes guys,” Mr. Brainshaw declared. Kelly couldn’t help but notice how unusually geeky he looked today. Geeky turned her on. Brainshaw’s ocean blue eyes drowned her thoughts. She was mesmerized. It was as if he had hypnotized her with his stern stare. He would always glance at her through the top of his glasses. She would smile, but only after he would look away. The top of his shirt had three unloosed buttons. The open shirt revealed his curly black hair that was pasted to his chest. She would always get a quick look at his butt, but he never turned around long enough  for her to enjoy it. It was as if he knew she was watching.

“Pens and pencils down,” Brainshaw declared. He quickly glanced at Kelly through the top of his glasses, the way he would do with everyone and then quickly looked away. Kelly, as faithfully as always, smiled. The bell rang and the class began to move. everyone began to pack there bags as if there had just been a fire drill.

“Alright, Alright,” Brainshaw declared. “School’s out, but my class isn’t. Please place your test on my desk on the way out. Helen! that better be your name that you are writing on that test!” Helen smiled and quickly put her pen away. She smiled and handed the test to Brainshaw, but not in any ordinary way. She smiled and seductively poked her chest out. She teased him with the paper, pulling it out of his hand as he attempted to take it. He smiled and snatched it.

“I hope I pass, Mr. Brainshaw,” She said sweetly, then exited the room.

“Whore,” Kelly whispered to herself. The room quickly cleared out. Brainshaw smiled at Kelly, still in her seat. He picked up the eraser and quickly cleared the board. Kelly caught the butt show, as he stretched and reached. She smiled as she placed her pen in her mouth.

“Anything I can help you out with, Kelly?” Brainshaw asked, clapping the chalk dust from his hands.

“I was actually looking for a little… extra credit,” Kelly declared. Brainshaw laughed and straightened the papers on his desk.

“Go home, Kelly.”

“I’m serious. I don’t think I have what it takes to succeed in this class. I was wondering if you could possibly help me out?” She twirled her hair, feeling more uncomfortable then she was sexy. She began to pop gum, that did not exist in her mouth. She slowly walked to the desk and rubbed her finger on a spec on his desk. Soon realizing the spec was a booger someone had left behind, she hysterically wiped it off on one of the test. She smiled, as she continued to try and seduce Brainshaw.

“Kelly, you’re new to this class. I mean for  God sakes, you’ve only been here two weeks. You don’t know me,” Brainshaw declared, teasing her, more than putting her in her place.

“I know you’re sexy,” She teased. Brainshaw smiled at the comment. “But I also know you’re kind of… not much man down there,” She declared. Brainshaw had not been smiling any longer. Confusion rang in his ear.

“Really? Is that what you think?” Brainshaw asked sternly. Kelly nodded, while placing her finger on her mouth and a hand on the desk. She stared at him through her thin glasses, as if to tease him. She smiled, humored by his response.

“A little birdie told me that… Well, that you have a little birdie.” She took a small piece of chalk and held it close to her face. She blew on the chalk and placed it back down.

“Your information is… Who told you this?” Brainshaw asked.

“Mr. Brainshaw, you misunderstand. I think you’re sexy, either way. Blessed, or not so blessed, you’re a sweet guy.”

“There’s nothing sweet about me,” Brainshaw declared.

“Tasha seems to think so,” Kelly declared.

“Tasha is a whore,” Brainshaw declared.

“Wanda thinks you’re a sweet guy too. She said you remind her of her little brother. Body parts and all,” Kelly continued to tease.

“Wanda’s an even bigger whore, Brainshaw stated with a smile.

“Ooo, I see a pattern here Brainshaw. I think you like whores. That or you have a low opinion of your students,” Kelly declared. She was now sitting on his desk. “She leaned in close, while pulling on his tie, until she was in his ear. “What if I want to be a whore too.” She leaned back and bit her bottom lip. Her lip stick had not smeared, but continued to gloss. Brainshaw smiled. He looked her up and down. He leaned in close, while placing his hand on the desk for support.

“I’ll try not to judge,” He declared, still smiling. “Wanda and Tasha spoke to you of a bird?” Brainshaw asked. Kelly laughed a little as she pulled on his tie once again.

“A rather small one,” She declared. She began to kiss his neck, he had not stopped her.

“Have you ever heard of the Cassowary?” Brainshaw asked as he played with Kelly’s lips. He grabbed her waist, outlining her hips with his finger. She glared in his eyes and shook her head no. She then kissed his chin.

“It’s an aggressive bird. One of the most aggressive birds actually.” He caressed her back as she submitted to his touch by arching her back. “If you’re not careful,” He began.

“It can kill you.” Kelly stopped and looked him in the eyes. She searched for the meaning behind his words. “But something tells me, you’re a predator yourself,” Brainshaw declared.

“I’m sixteen. What do I know about preying.” Kelly got up and walked away from Brainshaw. “You and Wanda… Are you done with her?” Brainshaw glared up at kelly. Now it was his turn to search her eyes for meaning. “She very unstable, I would hate to have detention for a stupid fight over you.”

“I love a girl who fights over me,” Brainshaw declared, walking over to Kelly. He placed his hands on her hip and quickly looked about the window and then back at her. “I’m done with all of them, especially Wanda. I see the way you look at me in class, as if you want to tell me something,” Brainshaw declared. He leaned in close and whispered in her ear.

“Now’s your time. What is it you want to say?” Brainshaw asked as he lightly nibbled on the top of her ear.

“You’re under arrest,” Kelly declared soft;y. They both stared each other, him still holding her. Kelly slowly brought her arm around and over his grip until she lightly placed the gun to his face along with her badge. “Hands off the hips and on the desk. NOW!” she declared. Brainshaw, confused, quickly followed her instructions. It wasn’t long before the cops came running through the door. They held Brainshaw head on the desk as they cuffed him. Braisnshaw looked up at kelly with hate and anger. Kelly returned the look with pity.

“Wanda… She was fourteen, Brainshaw. Fourteen!” kelly declared.

“Was?” Brainshaw asked.

“Was,” Kelly declared.

“I had nothing…”

“To do with her death?” Kelly asked . “You may have had nothing to do with killing her, but you were the reason for her suicide four weeks ago,” Kelly declared. She threw a stick on the desk near his head. He had not recognized it at first until they pulled his head from the desk. It was a pregnancy test.  He looked up at Kelly with even more confusion.

“Yes, it’s alive and it’s yours.” She turned around and the police began to take him away.

“Wait!” Kelly declared. The men stopped. Kelly walked up to Brainshaw  and gazed at his defeated  and ashamed face. She smiled at her victory. “Brainshaw, you and I both know, That was not a Cassowary down there,” She said looking down. The officers smirked.

“But be careful, because where you’re going, they have a lot of them there. So I’d take your own advice, because you said it best. if you’re not careful…” She began as she walked towards the door. She turned around and let her hair down. She removed the glasses and broke them in two.

“They can kill you.”

His first love

The rain invaded the city as it unexpectedly fell from the sky. The sky had decided to cry that night. The sky wept for Matthew, as he swiftly exited the building. Walking wasn’t getting him anywhere. He had to run. He began to run, trying his hardest to escape the pain. It seemed to catch up to him. His heart thumped and pit pattered along with the dark rain that fell. His eyes had been partially closed, hoping he wouldn’t see the bus he prayed would hit him.

“Matthew! Matthew wait!” he heard Brian call out to him. “Matthew!! Please!” Brian ran after his friend ignoring the harsh rain the beat on his shoulders. there had been nothing on Brians feet. His appearance had not concerned him, only catching up with his friend. His voice had reached Matthew and he immediately stopped. Matthew had not turned around to face Brian. He did not want to see his face and Brian knew this. Brian took a small step forward, trying to figure out if it was appropriate to approach him. Matthews fist clenched as a stream of water slid off of him and to the ground. His wavy hair had been stuck to his face, but he had not cared. Neither of them cared.

“Matthew…” Brian began, breaking the loud silence. Matthew had not responded. He tried to make himself turn around, but he just stood there.

“You wanted to hurt me,” Matthew cried.

“No,” Brian declared softly.

“You did hurt me,” Matthew declared finally turning around. “It hurts, Brian. I’m hurting right now!” Matthew glared in the eyes of his new enemy. His eyes full of hate and sorrow. His eyes quivered and his lip trembled. Brian couldn’t tell the difference between the tears that streamed from the eyes of his friend and the rain that washed them away. Brian returned his gaze with regret. He wanted to be sympathetic, he wanted to show passion, but he couldn’t find it in him to do so.

“Why?” Matthew asked in a sob. Brian knew the answer, he knew why, but he didn’t want to tell him. He couldn’t bring himself to say the words, let alone think them. He knew he was about to lose the best thing that had happened to him. He knew he owed Matthew everything, and at the least, an explanation. But his pride had took control. he shook his head and glanced at the ground. Matthew nodded his head, disappointed. He looked at Brian, knowing he wanted to speak.

“It’s just me Damn it. It’s me, your best friend. You’re the only one I have. Brian…” Matthew cried. “Brian, I love you man, and… and… and I’m here, right here in this damn rain, and i’m asking… No I’m demanding you… My friend, that I would do anything for… to tell me why.” Matthew eyes continued to rock back and forth, waiting for a reply. Brian had not picked his head up. He searched the ground with his eyes, hoping they would reveal the answer. Brian had buried his own truth and there was no lie that had surfaced in it’s place. Brian looked up and searched his friends eyes for a little understanding, but he found none.

“Because… I love her,” Brian declared. the rain continued to fall, but there had been no sound. Matthews pupil shrunk. His heart began to heat up. Brian looked away as he rubbed his arms from the cold. there was no excuse for Brian sleeping with the girl Matthew was trying to get with. But Brian knew Matthew really had no interest in the girl. It was just his feeble attempt at covering up what he really was inside. A truth he too had buried. The thing is, No matter how hard Matthew tried to bury his secret preference, It would always confront him when he was around Brian. Brian knew this. It was all anyone talked about, but Brian valued his friendship with Matthew, but he valued the touch of a woman more.

Why did he choose the woman Matthew was trying to date? Well, opportunity had presented itself. And just like every weak man at the right time in the wrong place, he took it… the opportunity. It wasn’t to hurt his friend, it most certainly wasn’t because he loved her, but it made him wonder… Why those words. Why did he choose to blurt those words. It confused him. More than it had Matthew.

“Brian… I,” Matthew began. he closed his mouth, reconsidering his next words. He shook his head and turned around. He began to walk away, but immediately stopped as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry Matthew! Please, I dont want to end it like this.”

“End what? Not this friendship. Is that what you thought this was? Tell me why you really did it Brian? Is it because of what almost happened?” Matthew cried.

“Nothing almost happened,” Brian declared softly, looking away at the people running from the rain.

“Why did you do this? to make me jealous?”

“No. I did it because. Because she was giving me what I needed, Matthew. And i’m sorry it was her.”

“I don’t care about her!” Matthew yelled. “Why couldn’t I…”

“Stop Matthew!” Brian declared, feeling uncomfortable. he didn’t want to upset Matthew, but he didn’t want him to finish his sentence.

“You don’t care about me. You know what you mean to me and I mean nothing to you?” Matthew declared, feeling uncomfortable to himself for sounding like a female.

“I don’t care about you? You mean nothing to me!?” Brian asked aloud. “I’m standing out here, bare feet with shorts and a tee shirt in the damn rain, begging for your forgiveness! I came after you, Matthew, because I care about you.” Matthew quickly looked around and then back at Matthew. “I love you man. You’re the best thing I got besides my girl. And she don’t even get as much attention as you. And i’m cheating on her.” Matthew turned around again to walk away.

“Matthew, please man,” Brian declared. Matthew couldn’t stand it anymore. He had built his resolve, he knew the friendship was over, there was no point hiding his feelings. No point hiding the truth. he turned around one last time, staring in the eyes of his once best friend.

“I love you Brian. Sometimes, more than I love myself. When all I have is a dollar to my name, i’m thinking of ways to spend it on you. When my phone beeps or rings, I quickly answer it on the slight chance that it’s you hitting me up. You should see my face when it’s not. When I’ve done a million things within the day and my mom ask how was my day, I think of the one moment I spent with you. Every time i hear a joke and i need to share it with someone, you’re the first person I contact. If all you needed was a heart, mines is yours to take Brian. I love you,” Matthew declared. he paused a moment to think “I’m in love with you,” he said, more to himself than to Brian.

“But the thing that kills me most, is that I think you already knew that,” Matthew declared. Brian said nothing. He looked away, which he made a habit of doing when he was in a tight situation. He slowly walked towards Matthew. He wanted to tell Matthew that he had known all along. he slowly wrapped his arms around his friend tight. Matthew grabbed his friend and cried. It was only a few seconds before Brian gently pulled away.

“I love you Matthew,” Brian declared, looking his friend in the eyes. Matthew eyes lit up. He was hurt, still hurt, but something about his friends warmth had saved him from the darkness. Something about his smile had soothed his mind. Something about his eyes reciprocated his feelings. Matthew leaned in to kiss his friend, but Brian’s hands had stop him.

“Just not like that,” Brian declared. Shame filled the face of Matthew. Brian, once again, looked away, pained that he had to hurt his friend. It had not been what he wanted. Deep down Brian knew how he had really felt, but it wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted everything to go back to normal. He wanted to wake up tomorrow and call his best friend. But there would be no call. Brian took two steps back, their eyes had not moved from each other. It was as if their eyes were having a private conversation. Brian slowly turned around and ran back to the building. Matthew stood in the rain, soaked. Soaked in hurt, in pain, in confusion. His time with his friend flashed before him.

He could hear Adele playing her love lost music in his head. There would never be another like Matthew and Brian knew this. There was a limit to how far two men could go, without crossing any lines. And although Matthew was willing to cross those lines, Brian wasn’t ready to. It wasn’t that Matthew was attracted to men, but he had found his first love. A true love. Something a woman had not shown him. He looked up at the third floor window. A woman had been watching him. She bit her lip and shame at how she contributed to the hurt Matthew had been feeling. She took one last look and quickly closed the curtains. Matthew turned around and walked away, taking Adele with him.

Too Practical

There was nothing about the night that felt promising. There was nothing about the moon that screamed romance. There was nothing about the stars that showed direction. The night air had been still and silent. There was nothing around for miles, nothing but darkness.

The three students sat silently in the car, each a prisoner to their own fear. The car lights flickered on and off occasionally, giving sign to the weak battery life, they had over looked. Blake drummed his fingers across the empty gas jug he had forgotten to fill. Even though no one in the car looked at him, Blake knew they were giving him cold looks at the corner of his eyes. He really hadn’t wanted to speak, but the tension was colder than the silent desert air.

“Can we at least turn the radio on,” Blake asked from the back. No one cared to respond right away. it was as of each of the front seat passengers were playing a game of chicken to see who would respond to Blakes annoying comment first. Helda folded and after, what seemed like an hour, she let out a breath of air full of hate. She pulled her gum out of her mouth and placed it quickly on a crumbled piece of paper she had thrown on the dashboard earlier.

“Because, genius, we’re already using the battery for heat and its already low,” Helda declared.

“Well why don’t we use your phone for music Josh? You have all the good songs anyway,” Blake asked.

“Because, genius,” Josh began sarcastically, making sure it was clear to Blake that he had no friends in the car at the moment. “The battery to my phone is also low and we need it to call the tow truck when we get a signal again,”

“Listen guys, I’m sorry I forgot to…”

“Can your sorry get us home tonight?” Helda asked tossing the piece of crumbled paper back unto the dashboard.

“No, but I…”

“Then we really don’t need it Blake. It would help though if you sat back in your seat and stayed quiet awhile,” Helda demanded. Blake, not wanting to agitate them further, took her advice. Blake tried to get comfortable. He picked his jacket up from the car seat and quickly put it on. Inside the pocket of the jacket Blake felt his gun. They had stolen it from a man at a bar who seemed a little depressed. It was Helda’s idea to take it really.

“We’re saving his life,” Blake remember Helda saying “Hes too wasted to be carrying this.”

Blake made sue the safe had still been on. He wasn’t to happy with having a gun in the car and even less thrilled that they had stolen it and put it in his coat pocket. Blake got comfortable under the jacket. He laid down, trying to hear his own music. Blake thought of his favorite song. He heard Helda popping gum. Blake knew she didn’t have another piece of gum. She must have reconsidered chewing that gum she had chewed the flavor out of. Blake eyes began to slowly close.

Blake quickly awoke, feeling something crawl on his face. He aggressively swatted the fly away from his face. He stared up, hoping that the pick up truck had been close. The car had still been quite. Blake had been just annoyed with everyone else, as they were with him. Why would they leave him with such a large responsibility? Why was he the only one to have remembered to fill the extra gas can? It wasn’t him who tried to take the chance of driving through the desert on a quarter tank. Blake smiled, he had thought of a good point. He rose quickly, his intention to start yelling, but instead he began to slowly develop fear.

Helda… Josh…

They were gone…

The doors remained open. Blake hadn’t noticed the sound of the bleeping sound that alerted everyone that there was still a door open. Josh looked around in the darkness, but found nothing. Helda and Josh were like brother and sister. There was noway they were hooking up outside. Except… they weren’t brother and sister. Blake slowly exited the car. He began to call out to his friends, but there was no answer. The desert had been so dark, Blake could barely see his own hands. He circled the car, trying to see if they were near the car. Nothing.

He called out to them again, but stopped as he noticed the ground near the door. It was as if something had been dragged off the road and into the darkness. Panic echoed in the heart of Blake. The chills shooting up and down became clear. the chills had not been from the cold night air, but from fear. Blake jumped in the car, closing all the doors behind him. Blake slowly glanced at his hand, blood. He slowly glanced to the door handle. blood had stained it. He began to slowly freak  out. He called to them once again, even knowing that it was to no prevail.

Blake knew what ever happened to Helda and Josh, was capable of happening to him. He knew the car had not been safe. and to prove his suspicions, the front doors slowly opened simultaneously. Blake screamed, afraid of what he feared would come next… his disappearance. Blake reached for the gun in his jacket. He quickly took the safety off, but the car began to shake, rocking back and forth.

“Leave me Alone!” Blake cried.

“We’re gonna getcha, We’re gonna getcha, just like we got you friends,” Blake heard a loud whisper say. Tears began to form in Blakes eyes.

“No,” He cried out.

“You’re on our land,” He heard the whisper again.

“I’m sorry! I’ll leave, please don’t eat me!” Blake cried in a whimper.

“Too late! We’re gonna getcha and eat you slolwy! We need to eat,” The deep voice growled again. The car continued to rock. Blake looked down at the gun, staring down the hollow barrel. He gulped and wiped his tear. He thought about helda, how much he loved her. He thought about Josh and how much Josh loved Helda.

“No,” Blake cried

“No?” the voice asked. It began to laugh. The car began to shake.

“No. YOU’RE NOT GOING TO EAT ME ALIVE!”

POW!!

The gun fell from Blakes hands and unto the floor. His hands went limp and dropped to the seats that began to stain with blood. Blakes head quickly rested on his shoulders. A stream of blood poured from his mouth and the back of his head. it slithered down the seats making sure to fill the seats below.

“Blake?” Helda cried as she climbed in the car through the front seat. She stared in horror as their practical joke became more real than they had intended. Josh hit his head on the car door, trying to escape the scene. He fell to the ground in shock, praying he had not seen what he had seen in the back seat. Josh looked up at Helda and she down at him, praying they too would wake up. Praying that Blake was playing a similar Joke on them. Josh put his hands to his eyes as headlights slowly approached him. It had been the pick up truck.