There wasn’t anyway to describe the sunset. Beautiful? Majestic? Amazing? I had not really appreciated it’s grace. I close my eyes as the wind welcomes the approaching night. My arms raise in acceptance. Fate welcomes me, as I step onto the ledge. My open shirt flaps in the wind. The wind was strong.

But not strong enough.

The wind tries to push me off the ledge, but not in the direction in which I want it to. The wind is against me today, trying to save my life. I thought it would have made it easy for me. I was hoping it would do the favor of finishing the task. I had done most of the work anyway. I dragged myself to the roof. I try to step off the ledge, but fear allies itself with the wind as it desperately prevents me from moving. I thought I was stronger than this.

Evidently, not strong enough.

My eyes remain close while I try to develop my resolve. I think of why I’m here. It all begins to hit me, I begin to remember. Fear slowly loosens his grip. He shakes his head at me, disappointed at his failed attempt to stop me. His judgmental eyes pierce my soul. I look back at him. My soul wants to cry, but my body has already done that for me.

I wonder if it’s true what they say about suicide. Is there really no forgiveness for taking your own life? If I was to jump, would my soul continue to fall past the pavement until I breached the gates of hell? I shook the thought from my mind and smiled at fears last tactic to stop me. He was good, he was strong…

But not strong enough.

I don’t have to step off the ledge, all I have to do is lean forqard a little and let gravity do the rest. There’d be no time for second guessing, no time to rethink things. I was still waiting for the wind to push me off the ledge, but he had not given up. The wind was relentless. Relentless, but weak. I begin to lean forward.

“Sean!” I hear someone scream out. I immediately turn around. There she was. Yunity, the love of my life. She held her arms, trying to warm herself from the cold wind.

“Yunity, what are you doing here?” I ask her. She pulls her hair behind her ear. There is no smile on her face. I look for disappointment, I look for pity, but there is no expression on her face. It was always hard to read her.

“I got your letter,” Yunity yelled over the weak wind. “I knew you would be here.”

“It’ too late to play hero, Yunity. You can’t stop me, I’ve already made up my mind,” I say to her. She looks to the left avoiding my gaze. Something in my eyes must have reminded her of an emotion she had not wanted to surface. I hear sirens in the distance. No doubt someone spotted me on the roof and called the police.

“Sean,” Yunity begins. “I didn’t come to stop you.” My eyes blink several times before I actually comprehend what she has just said. Although, I have no right to be surprised. What was I to expect? I look at her and like a boomerang, I throw her a smile. But it does not return to me.  She continues to stare at him. “I read your letter and I ran over here, because I want to tell you something,” Yunity stated.

“I hope you burn in hell,” she said. She took one last glance and began to walk away. I continue to smile, but I don’t know why. There is nothing to smile about really. I wasn’t aware of the tears that flowed from my eyes. I had hurt her, I knew that. There was no reversing my mistakes and I couldn’t live with them anymore. I cant live with the guilt, the pain.

“Yunity!” I cry out. I don’t want her to leave, not without me telling her “I love you.” She turns around and shakes her head. She says nothing. I can tell she wants to, but she doesn’t. She slowly opens the door to the roof and without looking back she disappears into the dark staircase.

She wanted me dead. She looked me in the eyes and showed no emotion to my attempt at suicide. Was she really that angry? I slowly come to my senses. I knew what I wanted to happen. I had stalled long enough, convincing myself that I was actually going to jump. I have no intention on jumping off this ledge. I thought she would save me, I thought she would say something to convince me not to jump. But she encouraged my death.

I step off the ledge, back onto the roof. I look at the crowd that has loitered the streets below. All eyes were on me, waiting to make my move. Some kids had drawn a big target mark on the ground with red chalk. They were looking for a show, but this show wasn’t intended for them. I run to the staircase, hoping to catch Yunity before she exits the building. I open the door, only to see her there.

“I knew you weren’t a coward,” She says to me. She throws me a smile. Finally my boomerang returns to me.  can still see the hurt in  her eyes. I can feel the heat of her anger. She still hated me. I began to understand, although I was dead to her, she didnot want me to die. I’m not a coward, I am strong and we can work through these issues. Question is…

Am I strong enough